Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Evolution of Caroline

Left: CJ age 4.... Cute little kid wasn't I with my Horrible bowl cut.... out to go catch some salamanders and worms. Too much fun!

Right: CJ Grade 4......Florescent pink shorts up to my chest with my matching pink NKOTB t-shirt....... and to match I have a dozen florescent elastic bands in my ponytail.... styling for my basketball team.

Bottom...... High School..... Cj develops love handles..... Sister Jen decides it would be cute to name them Bubble and Bobble after the fat blobby Nintendo characters. That Jennie Poo.... she's soooooooooo freakin funny isn't she..... HA HA HEEE HEEEE HO HAA HAAA HO. Luckily we deported her ass to Scotland. True story.

Top: UNB years...... Caroline decides the 5 Year program is more suitable after she discovers that university is one big party full of free beer and all you can eat buffet.



Caroline goes to College for 2 Years, loses the weight, develops an animators hunch, enormous saggy boobs (thank you LaSenza for saving my girls) and literally works her ass off to oblivion. .... which brings us now to the Present Day Hungry Bum Blues.... as seen in my previous post.

What's in store for Caroline's Future...... One can only imagine the possibilities......

Scenario 1: Some poor lad knocks up CJ. Unfotunately her super extra ginormous prego boobs suffocate her and she's a gonner.


Scenario 2 (Top): While CJ's friends's asses start doing the inevitable sag to the ground, CJ's love handles move down south and finally form her a butt.

Scenario 3 (Right): After paying 10 years of student loans this starving artist is joyous... although has faded away to nothing.

Scenario 4: After having kids CJ chops her hair, perms it and decides it's stylish to wear her tapered leg pants up to her boobs that hang over your belt. Yeeeeesh..... why do mom's do that!?!?

Inevitable.

11 Comments:

At 1:17 AM, Blogger Mark said...

Or...you could try sit-ups?.....not inevitable :/

Course' if you go the whole hog and your predictions are true, like the mystic, macabre figure that you are...you could always sell the er...that, body....to medical research.

It'll probably be about as much use as a fart in a spacesuit, but it's the thought that counts...gotta think of our next generation...

'Fighting Our Children For A Better World!'...




...no...wait...


...fighting our world....for better...




....no....

 
At 5:50 AM, Blogger Danarchy said...

HAHAHHA this is a funny blog Jarvis... I lvoe th old lady banana boobs. The fort is coming fine, I just poored the cement and hired contractors... it will be enormous... So im ehaded to PEI for Canada Day Marshal informs me were all going to aprty together...So I shall be the judge, hury of yourr flat ass.. See ya there WOOT

 
At 5:51 AM, Blogger Danarchy said...

PS. im sorry my spelling is on the same level as a blind dislexic monkey

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

"Scenario 4: After having kids CJ chops her hair, perms it and decides it's stylish to wear her tapered leg pants up to her boobs that hang over your belt. Yeeeeesh..... why do mom's do that!?!?"

Wholy crap, you better not, or I'll have less to do with you than I did in high school ;)

And the "inevitable", yhea right! We're going to be kick ass 190yr olds...I know we have dad's side to consider (make up for), but hopefully Grammy & Grampy's genes will make up the difference :)

Great pics! And I laughed so hard when I found out that Jen called your love handles "bubble bobble", glad I had a room to myself!

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger Mitch K said...

Yea, so, today I called you 'Carrie' by accident. I didn't realize until I was halfway home! I know who you are! And it's not actually my fault -- I have dyslexia! It happened because of the way I associat names and letters when I'm using words... I can TRY to explain it to you sometime. I'm so embarrassed! But I shouldn't be, because it wasn't the first time I've done it... I love you CAROLINE I'm sorry! In elementary, I used to mix up '5' with 'F'. Math was tough enough! Imagine doing algebra... Also, I see a zebra pattern (or sometimes a gaggle of zebras) when I think of the number '6' -- that's how I remember '6'!! But not 'six', just '6'. Weird, eh?

Anyway, this post of yours is comical, and yet serious. I'd like to see pictures of you as a kid!

The prego boobs drawing is AWESOME. That should be your profile picture! ... if you had a bun in the oven, of course.

The love-handle-drop is awesome!! That's so funny! But if that did happen, then you wouldn't have any lovehandles! Wouldn't that be terrible? I wish all women had lovehandles. Who wants a girl with a boyish frame? Pffftttt.

Sorry again! =)

(PS: if you read this at work today, apologize to Carrie for me too!)

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger p.maestro said...

let's hope for scenario two, eh?
oh shit! it's happened! i picked up the sydneyspeak like a bad std!

 
At 2:18 AM, Blogger Mark said...

Ey Jarvis ansher ye emails will ye!

 
At 6:05 AM, Blogger Goobeetsablog said...

HAHA.

oh well:)
I enjoyed reading this.

Thanks for your comments on my blog.
-brian

 
At 7:49 AM, Blogger Daviswares said...

I really feel like I know you better now

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

I wish we were friends through the neon short and NKOTB phase!! Man I bet everyone wanted to sleep at your house!

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Jason C said...

Ahhh.. the animators hunch.. you can't live without one.. That and the enormous growth on your pencil finger... Everybody has that right?? or is it just me???

 

Post a Comment

<< Home